i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
