i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When are your genitals available?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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