Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
