You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize