At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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