I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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