yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
