If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
