He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
