No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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