He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
