THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
