I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
