i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
