You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
