: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
