Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
