I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
