her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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