i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it glows. i had to have it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize