I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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