i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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