I must be too annoying 4 u.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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