bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
