I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
