ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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