I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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