She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
