i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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