; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
