Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
BRING THE BAGELS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
