Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
