I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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