Are we in a gay sports bar?
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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