He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
