opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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