so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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