I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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