paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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