I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
