He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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