Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
