I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
