Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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