I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
