That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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