This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize