My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
