I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
