she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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