Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
