this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
