Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
not ubering you a puppy
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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