If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
