someone get that fucking seahorse.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
