pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
