Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
