doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
