I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
