dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
