We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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