i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
