Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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