some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize