I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm too high and old for this...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
