This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
