I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
