R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
