Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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