perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
